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One of the most difficult matters to confront with respect to family relationships is that you don t control the entire relationship yourself. Whether the relationship thrives or withers isn t up to you alone. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango.

When major family relationship problems are encountered, it s common to attempt a control strategy. You try to get the other person to change. Sometimes this approach works, especially if your request and the other person are both reasonable. But many times it just leads to frustration.

On the other hand, if you can t change the other person maybe you should just accept them as they are. That s another strategy that sometimes works but this one can also lead to frustration and even resentment if your needs are not being met.

What you will find when you tackle such problems is that you harbor one or more beliefs that perpetuate the relationship problem in its current form. Those beliefs are the real problem - the true cause of the unhealthy relationship.